Bowling Struggles

So... I have been bowling for a very long time, since I was a child. However, it is not something that I would consider myself good at.

Sure, by the end of the season, I usually have one of the highest averages for the women in my league. And my average does go up every year. But I struggle to get there. Every time.

Why is this? I'm not 100% sure. For one, I have never been good at activities where I have to throw things. My dad used to (and sometimes still does) call me "chicken wing." He tells me to practice in front of a mirror. (Despite what he thinks, I've tried this - it doesn't work for me. If it works for him, that's great.) If I could throw something with the force of my will, it would totally go exactly where I want it to go. Unfortunately, all I get to throw with is my arm. (After watching my mom play Wii last week, I wonder if maybe I got my arm from her...)

So, on top of this strange lack of coordination, which sometimes I can control and sometimes I can't, I also have to manage my temper. This is no simple task. You see, I was born with all of my dad's competitive spirit, but not as much of his physical ability. So, I want to win, but I don't know how to. This is extremely frustrating.

Now, throw on top of this being on a team with my dad and my husband. My dad tends to want to tell me what I'm doing wrong. (I know it's wrong - I need to figure out how to make it right!) Dad, for the most part, knowing that he's not helping me, will back off. Ron, on the other hand wants to be social. This drives me out of my mind, and the more angry I get, the more he wants to "help."

I go into the night trying to tell myself that I need to block out other people and just focus on what I need to do to make things better. But sometimes, they just don't leave me alone, and I can't get a good rhythm going. And then they make me angry enough that I get snappy with them. (But I don't think I'm angry at them, I'm angry at me for not having any talent or self control.) And then when I'm having a really bad night, I cry. This is the worst thing. Because in my perfect world, I'm always calm, cool and collected no matter what anyone says or what happens. But in the real world, I'm over 30 years old and trying not to cry in a bowling alley while I humiliate myself in front of my dad and my hubby and the other team by throwing the ball in the gutter. Over and over again. My favorite is when I throw a strike or a spare and then gutter the next shot. WTF?

Sooo, tonight is bowling night, and I get to try it again. We'll see what happens this time. I'm really hoping it's better than last week. :-)